How NOT To Swing With A Unicorn

The only real noteworthy event that comes to mind in September is a couple from the Eastern Shore of Virginia, Dee and George.  The Eastern Shore is very pretty but also comprised of very small towns, isolated, and probably not much of a swinging life.  Dee and George sought me out on AFF as they were coming to Virginia Beach for a weekend and wanted another woman to join them.

We had many conversations and YIM chats and videos, so I felt pretty comfortable with what I was getting into.  They seemed like great people.  A little bit inexperienced but really genuine.

The night did not turn out as expected.  I met them at their hotel in Virginia Beach Town Center.  They had a Jacuzzi room.  George wanted Dee and me to get in the Jacuzzi while he watched.  Dee was a little timid, and I really didn’t want to get into the Jacuzzi yet.  I had just done my hair and makeup because they had said they wanted to go out, but I played along and spent a little time with Dee in the Jacuzzi, making out slowly so she would get more comfortable.  George, however, seemed fixated on his laptop.  I have no idea what he was doing.  Maybe watching porn or IMing with people.  But he really didn’t look up often.

Soon it was time to go.  Time to go?  I wasn’t aware we had any particular plans but decided to play along.  Apparently their big thing was to go to the comedy club that was just a block or so from the hotel.  I am not a big fan of comedy clubs.  I have a weird sense of humor and just don’t usually find the comedians funny.  But I had agreed to spend time with them.

Ugh.  They insisted on getting to the club an hour before the doors opened so we would get good seats in a seat yourself room.  I was not happy standing in line on an unseasonably chilly evening in 4” heels.  I was even less happy when we got to the ticket counter and George asked me for money for my ticket.  WTF??!!

The etiquette of swinging is not that different than the etiquette of regular dating.  They had asked me to be their guest for the night.  I agreed.  Then they insisted I pay for my ticket.  Once seated I soon realized they also intended for me to pay for my own dinner and drinks.  I stayed through the show and walked back to the hotel with them, but then I split.  I told them this just wasn’t working for me.  It was quite a bummer because I had really been looking forward to the night.

While the lifestyle has provided me with many, many nights of fun, there is the occasional dud to remind you to keep it real.