New Year, New Blog Post, New Pictures

Hi everyone!

It's hard to believe that it's 2016.  Last year was a great one in many ways.  This year has started off very differently than last year did.  As many of you know, I deal with Bipolar II disorder.  Last year at this time I was at the beginning of a hypomanic stage and was starting to swing a lot, and that continued for quite a few months.  This year I am starting off in a different place, not a depressive stage, more of an in-between phase.  That means I am neither "up" nor "down"...just sort of coasting along hoping that things take an upward turn soon.  But I'm kind of at the whim of my disorder.  I can't exactly "make" myself feel or be one way or the other.  I just work with what I have.

Anyway, I am trying to do what I can to at least take baby steps towards venturing out.  I actually was feeling a bit down on myself (kind of unattractive) so my daughter took it upon herself to set up a little makeover session with a boudoir photo shoot to make me feel a little better.  She did a good job, and I had a good time.  The new pics are on my website at www.diaryofaunicorn.com, and I've included one below.  I didn't touch them up or add filters or anything...just some backgrounds or such.  I suppose I look ok for a 51 year old.

So my next goal is to try to go to a meet and greet in a couple of weeks with a few friends of mine.  Normally at these events I would be playing around and flirting with all kinds of people, making new friends and setting up party plans with people I already know.  I'm not ready to jump back into things just yet, so as I said...baby steps.  It will be enough this time just to be social and see some old friends.

Here's to a great 2016 for all of us!  And here's to me getting my mojo back sometime this year (I hope).

Have a sexy day (and year)!

XoXo
Tracy

That's Just Not My Thing...Ever

I am a bit jaded and cynical, but I can still be surprised.  I got an email from a woman named Melissa.  She seemed attractive and interesting at first glance.  After emailing back and forth I got an email that said, “How kinky are you?”

I think I’m a little kinky but not too weird, so I said, “I would say that I am pretty kinky, usually up for trying anything in bed.

Well, she replied with an email containing a picture of her having sex with her fucking dog!  OMG!  I mean, actual sex.  She also had pictures of the dog licking her pussy.  And in the email she also detailed how she liked to have sex with her brother and mother.  I quickly sent a reply saying I was not interested and for her to not contact me again.  I guess next time someone asks me about being kinky I will say that I am really not kinky at all.  That’s not kinky.  That’s just sick.

What do you all think?  Kinky or just plain weird and disgusting?  Definitely out of the realm of possibilities for me.  

What Happens When A Unicorn Hits A Slump?

If you have followed my blog or my website and facebook page, you are probably wondering why there isn't much new going on.  Well, to be honest, I am in a slump.  You probably already know that I am bipolar, and I have been in a depressive episode for about 3 months now.  It fucking sucks!  That means that I haven't been going out or having sex, and my newer medications have even decreased my sex drive.  As someone who has always had an extremely high sex drive, I don't exactly know what to do about it.

I do continue to post a sexy blog now and then.  They aren't stories that are immediately happening, but they are true stories from the past couple of years.  Some of them can be found in more detail in my books, but some are different.

Anyway, I just thought you might like an explanation of what is going on.  Keep your fingers crossed that I get my self together before too long.  It really does suck.

Have a sexy day!

XoXo
Tracy

The Email I Should Have Written

Hi sexy people!  If you read my first book, Diary of a Unicorn: The Swinging Lifestyle (available on amazon.com under Tracy Gavin) you already know that I had a man completely fuck me over.  I was hurt, resentful, and mad as hell when I wrote the book.

Recently I have reflected on the things I did in that relationship and reread journals of our time spent together.  What did I find?  He was not the only one who was an asshole; I was, too.  Although everything I wrote was 100% true, maybe I left out many of the good parts of our relationship and only talked about the bad times.  And there were many good times, as well.

If I were still in contact with this man, I would send him a letter, because I have never forgotten him, and a part of me will always love him.  It may be wrong, and he and I will never be friends or have any type of relationship or contact, but I thought I would write here about the email I should have sent him long ago and never did.  Here it is:

Hi - I know it's been a long time, and I don't have anything bad to say at all.  This weekend I was reading through my personal journal (not a book), and I had copied and pasted so many of our IM conversations along with my thoughts over the two years we were together.  It brought back so many memories, both good and bad.  Mostly what I wondered was how could it go so wrong?

What we had was a once in a lifetime thing, at least for me.  I never lied to you about loving you forever and never being able to get over you.  I do, and I haven't.  I'm sure you have moved on and forgotten that I even exist, and I don't blame you.  But maybe you look back on our time together with some loving thoughts like I do.  I know I have never been closer to anyone in my life than I was to you.  And I did many things wrong, but I hope I did at least some of them right.

My life has never been the same without you in it, and it never will be.  When I told you that I was speaking the truth.  In rereading our conversations I tried to come to terms with the lies you told me, and I think I did that.  I also read hours upon hours of conversations of love and hope on both of our parts, I hope.  That was the last time I was truly happy.  In 2012 and 2013 when I was with you.  I certainly wasn't before, and I doubt I ever will be again.

Maybe I'm trying to say I'm sorry for my part in your pain and unhappiness, maybe I'm just being nostalgic and reminiscing, but reading those journal entries of mine and our conversations made me remember the love that I thought you felt for me.  The thought that anyone could love me as much as I thought you did was a true miracle to me.

I do hope you are happy, at least happier than I have been.  I hope your life is on track and maybe you have found it in your heart to forgive me for my part in the things that blew up our relationship.  When I said what I felt for you was a forever kind of love that would never die, no matter what, I was telling the truth.  I know there is no way for us to ever have any kind of relationship or friendship, but I do want to thank you.  Thank you for being there when I desperately needed someone.  Thank you for teaching me that I really could love and have hope.  Thank you for everything you did for me.

I don't know if you will ever read this.  I wrote this because I needed to, after all the pain and heartache...just to remind myself that those feelings for you were real, and they still are.  Like I said, a once in a lifetime thing for me.  I just wanted you to know how I felt and feel.

Please be happy, my forever love

Trace

Of course I never sent the email because I don't ever want to intrude on his life again.  But I just thought I would put this out in the universe because he wasn't the only one to blame.  I know this is different from my usual sexy posts, but today I felt the need to write something a little more heartfelt.

I hope you all have a sexy day!

XoXo

Tracy

How NOT To Swing With A Unicorn

The only real noteworthy event that comes to mind in September is a couple from the Eastern Shore of Virginia, Dee and George.  The Eastern Shore is very pretty but also comprised of very small towns, isolated, and probably not much of a swinging life.  Dee and George sought me out on AFF as they were coming to Virginia Beach for a weekend and wanted another woman to join them.

We had many conversations and YIM chats and videos, so I felt pretty comfortable with what I was getting into.  They seemed like great people.  A little bit inexperienced but really genuine.

The night did not turn out as expected.  I met them at their hotel in Virginia Beach Town Center.  They had a Jacuzzi room.  George wanted Dee and me to get in the Jacuzzi while he watched.  Dee was a little timid, and I really didn’t want to get into the Jacuzzi yet.  I had just done my hair and makeup because they had said they wanted to go out, but I played along and spent a little time with Dee in the Jacuzzi, making out slowly so she would get more comfortable.  George, however, seemed fixated on his laptop.  I have no idea what he was doing.  Maybe watching porn or IMing with people.  But he really didn’t look up often.

Soon it was time to go.  Time to go?  I wasn’t aware we had any particular plans but decided to play along.  Apparently their big thing was to go to the comedy club that was just a block or so from the hotel.  I am not a big fan of comedy clubs.  I have a weird sense of humor and just don’t usually find the comedians funny.  But I had agreed to spend time with them.

Ugh.  They insisted on getting to the club an hour before the doors opened so we would get good seats in a seat yourself room.  I was not happy standing in line on an unseasonably chilly evening in 4” heels.  I was even less happy when we got to the ticket counter and George asked me for money for my ticket.  WTF??!!

The etiquette of swinging is not that different than the etiquette of regular dating.  They had asked me to be their guest for the night.  I agreed.  Then they insisted I pay for my ticket.  Once seated I soon realized they also intended for me to pay for my own dinner and drinks.  I stayed through the show and walked back to the hotel with them, but then I split.  I told them this just wasn’t working for me.  It was quite a bummer because I had really been looking forward to the night.

While the lifestyle has provided me with many, many nights of fun, there is the occasional dud to remind you to keep it real.

New Videos

Hi sexy people!  I wanted to let you know that I put together a couple of videos you might like.  They have to abide by facebook and youtube nudity rules, but I hope you will find them sexy anyway.  Would love to hear feedback.

You can check them out here on youtube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-0vUWWYudLzK01e-QNWmaw and please feel free to leave comments.  You can also access them on my free website at https://www.diaryofaunicorn.com/videos-2.html.  Either way I hope you enjoy them.  I hope to have some more soon!

XoXo
Tracy

The Old College Try

I live in the hub of the U.S. military, Hampton Roads, Virginia.  With multiple bases for all four branches within fifty miles, you can’t toss a rock without hitting a few sailors or soldiers.  So when I received an email from a good looking British soldier who was stationed here temporarily I decided to explore.  I’ve always been a sucker for an accent.

Micah and I met at a Starbucks.  I have found Starbucks to be the perfect place for initial meet and greets with potential fuck buddies.  Low key, no alcohol involved, and it’s easy to leave quickly if things aren’t going well.  I was seated at an outside table enjoying the sunshine.  I felt good in a cute summer dress and strappy high heels.  I arrived first.

Shortly after my arrival I saw a very tall blond man enter the Starbucks.  I was playing with my phone.  I received a text from him saying that he was there, and I texted back that he could find me outside.  As he approached I could see that he was indeed very cute in an overgrown boy sort of a way.  He was about 6’6” tall with a body that was neither lanky nor stocky but somewhere in between.

I’ve often been told that I have a British sense of humor.  Whatever that means.  I supposed it’s referencing my sarcastic, cynical, assertive side.  Micah and I definitely hit it off.  He had me laughing my ass off with his stories, and his British accent was just icing on the cake.  We stayed for a while, getting to know each other and flirting like crazy.  When I decided to leave Micah walked me to my car.

While leaning on my car Micah asked if he could ask me a very personal question.  I said, “Sure.”  I’m pretty open about anything of a sexual nature.

He said, “What is the largest cock you’ve ever had?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about that.  I guess maybe ten inches or so,” I replied.

“Well, I am very well endowed, to the point that it’s very hard for me to get laid because of it.  Does that scare you?”

I thought of my favorite TV show, Sex and the City.  In one episode Samantha meets a similarly hung man, and she loves a challenge.  She assured the man that she could handle anything.  As it turns out, she couldn’t.  I think it was the only time on the entire series that Samantha ever gave up.  My curiosity was piqued.

I playfully joked, “I’m not trying to brag, but I have yet to meet the penis that I can not handle.”

“Great,” said Micah.  “How about Friday night at my place?  I’ll have the wine and some snacks and we can get to know one another even better.”  He then pulled me against him in a passionate kiss.  I could feel the length of him against my leg and wondered what the hell I was getting myself into.

On Friday night I was both excited and nervous.  Having never really spent time with anyone from Great Britain, I was charmed by things I never knew existed, like an electric tea kettle.  Micah was a great conversationalist, but eventually we found our way to the bedroom.  Armed with a couple of glasses of wine I allowed him to undress me.  Kissing was much easier lying down given the disparity of our heights.  He seemed a bit nervous, though, at shedding his own clothes.  I made him laugh, and soon he was as naked as I was.  I had not yet looked down.

Micah pressed against me as he kissed my mouth and neck, working his way down to my breasts.  It felt really nice.  So nice that I thought I should be returning some of this pleasure.  I reached my hand down to his waist and just stopped.  Holy Shit!  He hadn’t lied.  Not only was he probably 12” long, but he was very thick.  He was the approximate length and girth of my entire arm.  Mind over matter is one thing, but I knew this was going to be anatomically impossible.  I slid down, intending to at least take him in my mouth.  That wasn’t happening.  I literally could not open my mouth wide enough to take him in.  I moved on to licking and fondling.

Eventually he asked me if I thought I could manage actual intercourse.  I figured I would give it the old college try.  I felt stretched to my limits, and he had only gotten his head in.  Finally I gave up and told him that it just wasn’t going to work.  Somehow this made me feel like I had let down my gender.  But then this was the first time I had met a man who was hung like a baseball bat. 

We fooled around quite a bit, and I gave him a hand job.  It really was a shame because he was cute and charming and very generous in bed himself.  And while I saw him a couple more times, I was never any more successful at actually doing the deed.